From Class

Posted on September 23, 2004 by Carson

I think it’s impressive how long I put this off. In this case, however, I figure I’m paying more attention while writing a post (although slightly distracted) than if I was totally asleep. We’re talking about switches and how they deal with messages. Yeah. So exciting.

All my classes have tests coming up within the next week or two. Things might get a little stressful. Posts will probably be a little less frequent. I’m sure you’re all sorry to hear it.

10 minutes left to freedom. It’s Thursday, so you know where I’ll be tonight. Hope to see you there.

Work Humor

Posted on September 22, 2004 by Carson

Things you’d like to say at work but can’t. Except that I probably could because I’ve got an awesome job and no one really cares! Well, that’s not quite true, but close enough.

Seriously though, I can’t think of many jobs like mine. I get paid to sit at a desk and pay attention to people walking by, say hi, and basically do whatever I want (with a few limits). I can’t make a lot of noise. I can’t leave the desk unless the desk is on fire or I’m being threatened. I can’t play an instrument (damn!). I can’t host parties at the desk, although occasionally it happens anyway. One of the best things is having time to do homework (usually), and all I have to do is work on it at the desk and I get paid for it. I can’t complain. Although some of my raises were absorbed when they raised the minimum wage…

Speaking of work, my job responsibilities just got expanded. Most of you reading probably already know that I deliver mail as well as working desk shifts. It’s pretty fun because I get to know lots of names and where everyone lives. The only thing that kinda sucks is that I don’t always have a face to put with a name. Anyway, I like delivering mail, although forwarding all the shiat for people who don’t live here anymore can suck my balls, Mr. Garrison. Anyway, I am now the Strong Complex Mail Manager. Yeah, I know, it’s impressive. Considering I’ve basically been managing the mailroom since day one. The one thing I’m curious about is whether this new title comes with a pay raise…

I’m supposed to be having a discussion with my boss in about 30 minutes to talk about my new responsibilities. Or something. It should be exciting. I’ll be at work already. Or still.

Teh Jimini will mourn this day.

And I thought I was starting to feel old. I take it all back.

The rest of my day will probably be kinda busy. I’m hoping to go get a haircut when I get off work, then head out to the career fair for some schmoozing (how the hell do you spell that anyway?) with employers. After that I’ll be delivering more mail, but this time with a title! My early evening should be pretty open, and then later tonight there’s an ARH Gen Body meeting. I doubt there’s all that much on the agenda, so it shouldn’t be too bad.

Alright, need to call my parents to see about plans for Fall Break. I’m out.

Currently Playing: Bowling for Soup – 1985

It’s just a catchy tune. So catchy.

Escape

Posted on September 20, 2004 by Carson

There are some days I just want to get away from everything and focus only on the best things in life. I woke up this morning and couldn’t help but smile. I’ve been doing that a lot lately, and for some very specific reasons. I find my mind is torn.

For as long as I can really remember I haven’t been in that big of a hurry to get out of this place. I’ve enjoyed (most of) my time here, and I haven’t understood why so many people want to leave so fast. Sometimes (especially in the last few weeks) I’ve just wanted to push the giant pause button on life’s remote control and let the moment last just a little longer. Seems like some things are over before we even realize it. We’re always looking to the next thing. For once I want to think about right now and enjoy everything that comes NOW.

Lately though, I’ve also found myself for the first time wanting to move on. To leave here and start the next chapter of my life. I still have a lot of things to figure out about that next chapter, but I know I’m getting burned out on school. I mean I’m still doing all the things I need to do for classes, but I often find myself truly wishing I was somewhere else, like there are so much more important things out there.

Back to my original thought, I’m ready to escape for a little while and enjoy the best in life. Unfortunately, I’m stuck at work, and so some of the best things in life are decidedly unattainable at the moment. At least one of those best things is also in class. I guess I’ll make due with what I’ve got.

I’m listening to the album Details by Frou Frou for the second time this morning. The Van Zile desk is pretty quiet from 8am to noon, so I’m just letting the music wash over me and letting my mind wander. It’s so easy for me to get lost in the music.

As my mind wanders I’ve been wandering online as well. A few interesting things out there. Matt made an interesting observation over on his Xanga. Check out the second to last line of his latest entry.

This is just frightening(ly accurate).

Inmates with playtime to build an underground fort outside the prison fence. Just wonderful.

Ok, I just found a discussion thread about music. I haven’t gotten very far, but there were a few comments that stuck out to me.

Listen to music – don’t compare it to what is or what was. Every tune, every melody, every beat, is it’s own entity. Are there any Led Zeppelins out there? Any Jim Morrisons? Any new BBKings? Any Stevie Rays? Nope. There can only be one of anything and anyone. I love music. If you try to categorize it when you listen to it, you aren’t really listening – you are thinking too much.

Well, being a very critical person by nature (much to my wife’s annoyance), i enjoy picking apart music, going over it in my head, turning up a favorite part of a song real loud in my car nodding my head as my wife has a disgusted grimace on her face. it’s what i do. i do compare, i do criticise. BTW, who heard the newest SUM41 song. it’s a goddam carbon copy of System of a Down, to the highest degree. but i enjoy finding things like that. to me, rock music is a thinking journey, and emotional as well. without the criticism and comparisons and discussions, its difficult to share. thats why i started this thread.

Irony: a next day package just came for someone. I sign for it, then I check the name…it’s for me. Must be the third try to get me the iPod case I ordered like a month ago. Let’s see if they got it right this time.

…

Hallelujah. Third time’s a charm. Now the real question is whether or not they’ll credit me to send back the other two cases or not. Time will tell.

Ok, that’s enough for now. Didn’t realize this was getting so long. If you’re still reading, thanks. Maybe I’ll do some real work now.

I couldn’t pick between these two songs as they both seemed appropriate regarding recent events. Enjoy them both.

Currently Playing: Frou Frou – Let Go

Drink up baby down
Are you in or are you out?
Leave your things behind
‘Cause it’s all going off without you
Excuse me too busy you’re writing a tragedy
These mess-ups
You bubble-wrap
When you’ve no idea what you’re like

So, let go
Jump in
Oh well, whatcha waiting for?
It’s all right
‘Cause there’s beauty in the breakdown
So, let go
Just get in
Oh, it’s so amazing here
It’s all right
‘Cause there’s beauty in the breakdown

It gains the more it gives
And then advances with the form
So, honey, back for more
Can’t you see that all the stuff’s essential?
Such boundless pleasure
We’ve no time for later
Now you can wait
You roll your eyes
We’ve twenty seconds to comply

Also Playing: Frou Frou – Must be Dreaming

Pay close attention
Don’t listen to me from now
George will be flying this one
And it’s anyone’s guess how he does it
This is my turn
Wrong universe
You’re taking me in full bloom
Viable
Careful with that there
See what you made me do

Must be dreaming
Oh, we’re on to something
Must be dreaming
For, I don’t fall in love like this
Must be dreaming
Oh, wish me to waking
So one day I’ll be yours
As long as I’m losing it so completely

The century calls
They come and collide in me
Soon and in hearts
Oh! While I go helplessly
Sky high magic
I sugar rush
And don’t stop

Quotes and stuff

Posted on September 19, 2004 by Dylan

“My Heart’s Beating” Crystal

Talking about dealerships and coming to Dick Edwards
“I hate Dick” Jaclyn

Talking to a friend at work about a manager who’s last name is Mabie. Some comment about her and he replies
“Thats a big Maybe (Mabie)” Ian (ok so I now realize you probably had to be there)

“Look at my arm. I burned myself on the Iron this morning. It hurts now!” Sara
Hmmm thought it would make you feel all tingly lol

(10 min poem..)

Music belting from undersized speakers
The wonderful, self defeating lyrics
Grand sagas mixed with heartsick epics
The melody in my thoughts transcend them

Currently Playing: Big Dismal – Too Pretty

One day you’re gonna wish you’d given me a chance
When I’m standing on top of the world
And you’re stuck down there in your fantasy
With all your diamonds and pearls

Was it something I said to you
To make you think that I was just a fool
Or maybe

You’re too pretty
You’re too pretty for me
I don’t want to let you down

Look No More

Posted on September 19, 2004 by Carson

I just got off of one of the best 12-3 shifts I’ve had in a long time. Not that they aren’t always exciting, but this time around I actually had people to talk to. Thanks to Jimmy and Kristen for hanging out for some good conversation.

For the first time in a long time everything seems to be going right in my life. I’m actually working hard for my grades, I’m enjoying all of the activities I do for my various organizations (for the most part), and I’ve met a great girl. After some not so fortunate events, I spent so much time last year–and especially last semester–trying to figure things out and make them alright again. The thing is, once I finally stopped trying to figure everything out and make stuff happen, things took care of themselves. Isn’t that the way it always goes?

Conversations like the ones I just had at the desk really help me to realize how much the last few months have helped me grow as a person. I finally feel like I have a grasp on my life and what I want, something I haven’t felt in a long time. Sure classes are really starting to get on my nerves, but there are things that make it all worthwhile. And for a change I’m actually appreciating those things rather than taking them for granted.

I’ve started–well OK, I’ve been headed–down the path of a new relationship recently. I’ve had a habit in the past of jumping from one thing to the next without really taking time for myself in between. The last several months I’ve spent trying to figure out what I want and where I want to be in my life. I’ve come a long way from my low points of last semester and in that time I feel like I’ve really been able to get my head on straight. Then this new relationship came out of nowhere and it couldn’t be better. It just feels different somehow. It’s new, exciting, wonderful, and yes, if I’m completely honest with myself, a little bit scary. But I’m taking everything one day at a time and waiting to see what this grows into. I have a good feeling about this one. Ok, enough pouring my heart out for one sitting. I just had to get that out before I couldn’t. G’nite.

Living My Childhood as an Adult

Posted on September 15, 2004 by Dylan

Relating past/present relationships to sound of Seth Lofgreen blaring in my ears and a background of water pelting canvas as I made my way to class this morning. As I thought to myself… These are the days to live for. When else in my life am I going to be able to explore who I really am. When else will I be able to go to sonic with a group of friends and play on the playground. (I loved the 25 cent helicopter… barely fit in it though…) When else will I be able to just get up and drive 2 hours for a double date with a friend.

Don’t get me wrong… I am really busy with class and work and the such… but at the same time I feel so free. There will always be things that you dont like to do and people you dont want to deal with. The important thing is to look at the opportunities you do have and take them when they present themselves…

Currently Playing: Seth Lofgreen – Forecast

Theres nothing I can do
to change her mind
My forecast aint changing anytime
And the way I see it
this weather is here to stay
Looking to the west
the skys are kinda gray
But tomorrows just the same
as the cloudy skys today
Theres nothing I can do
to change the outlook anyways
Theres nothing I can do
to change the outlook anyways…

Surprising

Posted on September 15, 2004 by Carson

I just heard on the radio that Avril Lavigne is engaged. To the singer of Sum 41. Rather interesting. Maybe she found her Happy Ending after all. Yes, totally cliché. Your Welcome. I wish them the best.

Van Zile is boring this morning. It would have been great to shut off the alarm when it went off, curl up into a ball and go back to sleep. I woke up to the sound of rain on the window and distant thunder. What could be more inviting sleeping weather than that?

Instead I hit the snooze once and got up to get ready for work. I walked outside in the rain (as close as I’ll get today since it stopped) instead of going through the tunnel. I owe someone some time in the rain. Hopefully I can remedy that soon.

Can I just say you are awesome? Yeah, you know who you are. Thanks for the talk last night. I was glad I got to see you. T-minus 3 days until lasagna!

Currently Playing: Avril Lavigne – My Happy Ending

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

It’s all about the song. Doesn’t really relate to my life at all right now. Maybe the first line 🙂

(Almost Totally) Good Stuff

Posted on September 12, 2004 by Carson

Thursday night. The usual. With a twist. I went to Joe’s and again…enjoyed myself? What is happening to me? I still know that I’m totally white and can’t dance. It’s gotta be the company.

Dylan and I headed to KC with some excellent company on Friday to see Garden State and have some Italian food since that’s something missing in Manhattan. Almost everyone that’s seen the movie has had good things to say, and I can’t agree more. The movie was awesome. It’s just slightly weird, but in a really good way. I bought the soundtrack today, and I’ll be waiting for it to come out on DVD.

After struggling with exhaustion for the last part of the drive back that night, I got up to head out to the game yesterday. This would have to be really the only low(er) point of the weekend, seeing our guys get their asses handed to them by a team that isn’t even that good. This all sounds a little too familiar…Damn you, Fox Sports Net. The saving grace was, again, the company.

Today has been an incredibly lazy day. I managed to sleep until after noon and realized a bit too late that I was missing an ARH event (sorry guys). I’ll probably take some crap for that later, but after the busy week I don’t feel too bad about taking some down time.

My head is spinning. I don’t know what to think. I’m almost overwhelmed. Two and a half weeks seems like nothing and everything at the same time. How did this happen? What if it ends? What if it lasts? What if…

Currently Playing: Silence. Roomies are asleep. And I thought I slept a lot today.

Song Of the Moment

Posted on September 9, 2004 by Carson

Currently Playing: The Used – Blue and Yellow

And it’s all in how you mix the two
And it starts just where the light exists
It’s a feeling that you cannot miss
And it burns a hole
Through everyone that feels it

Well your never gonna find it
If your looking for it
Won’t come your way
Well you’ll never find it
If your looking for it

Should’ve done something but I’ve done it enough
By the way your hands were shaking
Rather waste some time with you

And you never would have thought in the end
How amazing it feels just to live again
It’s a feeling that you cannot miss
It burns a hole through everyone that feels it

Should’ve said something but I’ve said it enough
By the way my words were faded
Rather waste my time with you

Hell yeah.

Madison Monroes

Welcome to our life.