Are you there God?
I did save myself. In every way. She betrayed me. Here I am.
Are you there God? It’s
I’m not who I was before her. I lost that boy a long time ago.
Are you there God? It’s me
I’d give anything to be who I was. I liked that kid…
I miss him.
Are you there God? It’s me, Jimmy…
The audio files are pretty quiet, so turn up your volume on most.
Ok, this is currently the most awesomefanstacular thing I have ever seen. I mean seriously! These guys’ wangs have to be…like…the size of a small european nation!
This is just freaking stupid. This is just totally awesome. And if you use more than one of these, that is just sad.
I have the sudden uncontrollable urge to just wail on someone with a wiffle bat. I mean seriously! How awesome does that sound! Say H is working at the desk, and she gets bored. So she calls me up. What better way for both of us to occupy our time then for me to attempt to beat her senseless with bat-full-o-holes while she…like…you know…draws, or something. Seriously!
Im hungry. I want…like…carmex. If you don’t have SideBoy, by the way, you really need it. It’s…awesome. We suddenly have a lot of people posting claiming letters. And they’re making us guess as to who is whom! Not that…you know…we made any rules. Or anything. So! Let’s recap!
H is ******, J is me, C is ******, D is *****, F is ******* (tentatively), N is ****, B is **** (apparently), K is ******* (apparently), and S is ****** (tentatively).
And finally! I know all you PeoplewhoneverreadjimmyspostsbecauseyoudontlovehimandonlycomeforCandD never read my posts so, quickly, I’ll fill ya in! On Thursday, I had 3 dates this weekend. Well, at one point, that upped to 4. One, was cancelled. One, was annoyingly…annoying…that didn’t sound like I wanted it too. One I cancelled, because I knew I would be way to exhausted after my concert. Oh! And about that! So we were singing our main song and, during the course of that song, it requires us to act totally Gay (no offense, *****!) Now, before this song starts, we ask up all the “old Glee members” who know the song. So I had…like…7 30 and 40 somethingyearolds around me. So what did I do! Me, being on the top row, I hug the 30somethingyearold in front on me and start petting his head…and stuff. I mean, it was really funny at the time, and I always do stuff like that during that part of the song. And I got a lot of comments, saying “You have a natural talent for comedy.” (Seriously! WEIRD!) …yeah, I apologized to the guy afterward. “Hehe. Sorry about that man. You were the only one in front of me.” I so felt dirty. I think I crossed a line, or something. But! I got a lot of compliments so…*shrugs* Oh, and the last date went…uhm…nicely. A little too nicely. Let me just say I’ll be single for a while longer, yet. 🙂
And, as always, remember that you can build a ladder to heaven but, if there’s only one road, you can still go the wrong way on it!
Quote!
S (4:01:32 PM): are you the only The Jimmy?
The one and.
Kicka**!
I’m having the hardest time putting things into words right now. There’s a lot of things on my mind that I don’t know how to explain. After about a month and a half of being less than happy, I’m finally trying to get my life back on track. I say that like it’s been a long time…I guess it really hasn’t. For some people it takes a lot longer, and I’m grateful it didn’t take me more time to commit to do something about how I was feeling. Anyway, as some people already know, about a week ago I just decided I didn’t like the way things were going. I didn’t feel like going to bed at night and I didn’t feel like getting up in the morning. I wasn’t very nice to people, I didn’t care about a lot of things I should have, and my motivation to do schoolwork was at an all-time low. Not to mention I’d had a long string of disappointments with few bright spots. I’d had enough.
I decided I was going to make things change. Some things a person can’t control, and I don’t pretend to think I can affect those things. But there are a lot of things I can change, mostly in myself. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to hold myself to this unless I made a list of goals, and I knew I’d have to actually write them out or I’d lose sight of them. This last week has been a big improvement. I started off on the wrong foot by shutting off my alarm Monday morning and sleeping straight through my 9:30 class, but things have been looking up since then. I’ve been to breakfast every day since Tuesday, something I haven’t done in a long time. I haven’t gone to bed later than 1am or had a single pop all week. I’ve done my best to be nicer to everyone in general and not let little stuff get to me. If I continue on this way, I just might make it to summer and have my much needed break from all the stress of the semester. No class + good job = free time = happier C.
Unfortunately, while I’m doing my best to improve things, there’s other *stuff* going on that’s beyond my control. Most of it doesn’t directly involve me, but that doesn’t mean I’m not affected. There are two situations in particular that have been on my mind. I just don’t know what to think. It would be nice if I could have this time to work solely on my goals and improving my own character without having to deal with anomalies in the character of others. Unfortunately that’s not the way it works, and as much as I’d like to focus just on improving myself and my relations with other people, I can’t do it. Other things happen in the world that affect me (even if it is indirectly), and I can’t just act like they don’t matter to me. It’s not in my being.
So maybe I didn’t do so bad getting everything out of my head and into this post. But let me tell you, this isn’t half of what’s swirling around in there. Ask me about it sometime. You might be surprised at what’s you find in there.
Song: Abandoned Pools – Start Over
Ever notice that when you are really tired that sleeping doesnt seem that different from being awake… Things start to seem like dreams.... You start acting more on impulse than intuition… could it be at this time that you are actually closer to your true self because you care less about what people think of you? Anyways C and J told me to go to bed. I think I might…
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to protect them from all the creepy guys, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments and give them anyway, for the guys who play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys acclaimed as boyfriend material but never end up as boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, unappreciated, and crushed, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, ignored, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a jerk and a player, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it, because you knew she didn’t want to hear what you thought. This is for the time she interrupted the greatest single life run you’d ever had on Halo to complain about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the drinks were awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “Oh, but we’re just friends!” regardless of how much it hurt you. And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyway. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And more disturbing, the nice guys are ignored far too often. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical and manipulative. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “I can’t, he deserves better” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, and your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003
[I edited it a little]
Went to Taekwondo club this morning!! It’s just starting up so if you wanna join let me know! Unfortunately I can’t make it because I have class when it meets this semester (Tueday and Thursday at 9:30). Anyways it was nice to get some exercise. I used to be so active in HS sports and since I came to college I havent done squat… so hopefully this will get me motivated! Well I am gonna try to work on some of my programs now… God bless and have a wonderful day!
Post some comments on what you do to relax and make yourself feel better!
So what do you do when you suddenly find out that someone you used to like, isn’t the person that they used to be; might not have even been the person you thought they were?
It’s…frightening. Honestly frightening. I’ve never been worried like this before. Who is she? Screw that, who was she! What…geez…did I honestly see her as what she could be–what I wanted her to be–and not what she was?
It was all…fake.
Quote!
*J (9:47:01 PM) – AIM – : [name deleted for privacy] isn’t goofy. It’s not who she is…*
…or was it all…a…lie?
Turning back on the idiosyncratic cogitations of my mind. A view of hope and ebullience emerges from deep within. What force could possibly restrain this jubilance? None! So I now challenge you my friend, to look inside yourself and release the joy within. Don’t worry about your image or reputation. Just go out and show the world what makes you who you are!
I snuck up on a squirrel today! It was awesome! I got within armreach, and was gonna grab him when some foolio walked up behind me and scared the poor guy. The squirrel, not me. I’m priceless.
My wang is so huge.
So! To review the past week! She who shall forever remain nameless is a real cutie, J is addicted to 17 year olds, tends to touch things he shouldn’t whilst in public and “not in his right mind” for the first time, I proudly add, I have 3 tests this week, 2 concerts, and 3 dates this weekend. Overall I think I must say that, despite the looming “Tang” sign in my future and my failing efforts to avoid it, life kinda rules!
I think I’m cooler than C and D. You know, as long as we’re talking about the half-life of a banana in the arctic circle surrounded by Penguid Goa’uld. We were all going to bed last night (together! winkwinknudgenudgesaynomore) when:
C: Dude, you don’t even want to know what I was considering… Royce knows…
J: What…you mean…like…black chicks?
Looking back, I have absolutely no idea what he was talking about, even though I’m sure he explained it to me. Most likely I was too distracted by the mysterious liquid beginning to pool on my pillow. Oh yeah, I suppose it’s worth mentioning that C is worth $2.3 mill and I’m worth $2.24mill… *eyes C and the unmentionable question suspisciously*
She who shall forever remain nameless. You know, I like this whole “Refer to people in the 8th person” or whatever you call it. It’s so…done by me. There is, after all, only one road in Canada, and A.W.E.S.O.M-O is only one robot.
Quote!
J – 16April04 – Night – Gumby’s – Dude, how old was she, and what did I just touch?
