Madison Monroes

I’ve had too much time to think lately. It’s all the driving I’ve done in the last week and a half. Sometimes it’s a truly great escape, but lately it’s been more of a curse. Especially when it ends up costing me in the range of $200 for a statute I didn’t even violate in a state I will rarely (if ever) visit again. Of course, when I drive I listen to music, and when I listen to music and drive, my mind tends to wander over all the things in my life and even some things in other people’s. As much as I hate to admit it, coming back to school is probably good for me because being busy again will give me an opportunity to shut out all those thoughts that have been constantly running through my head. It might allow me to actually make some decisions about some things in my life instead of just constantly going over the possibilities.

I’ve fallen into a very bad habit of staying up too late. Call it voluntary insomnia. I don’t feel tired when it’s time to go to bed so I stay up. But do I actually do anything? Not really. Somehow I’ve gotten really good at wasting time when I’m avoiding sleep. What is it that I’m afraid of anyway? It’s not my dreams; I usually don’t remember them anyway. It’s not that I won’t be able to sleep once I lay down in my bed; I almost always fall asleep within minutes. I think it’s the fact that I know when I wake up in the morning, everything in my life will be right there waiting for me, just where I left it. For some reason that thought hasn’t been very comforting lately. And yet, eventually my eyelids get heavy, and I can’t put off the inevitable any longer. G’nite.

Sometimes the only sense you can make out of life is a sense of humor… Thats been a quote I have tried to remember no matter what I go though. Life can be painful at times but if you look hard enough there is always some good to come out of it. And as J kind of said, for every pain you go through you come out stronger and wiser in the end. Let us just hope that we can learn from others pain so that we dont make the same mistakes. For those of you who have gone through the pain be sure to share what you have learned. Ok so that enough senseless rambling from this lunatic mind for tonight.

I offer, for your consideration a message I recieved a few days ago. Important information has been withheld to protect privacy. A great man (I think it was Shatner. Shatner rules) once said “I fear the capacity of an individual to justify his or her actions will forever amaze me.”
*pauses to let that sink in*
The message I sent to this individual, as I have done often in the past, was one of comfort and a little advice. I’ve been thinking about this for a while. Note: I address this not only to the individual in question, but to everyone who has ever been in a relationship. Why does everybody, not just the individual in question, refuse to take responsibility for their actions? Why is it always someone elses fault that something went wrong in a relationship or in life? Am I really so evil, that I helped someone else realize how they really felt–or at least helped them find the gate leading to the path they had so desperately been trying to find? Wouldn’t it be far more beneficial to attempt to focus on why the relationship didn’t work, and therefore try to fix whatever fault may have been present?
Is “therefore” spelled with an “e”…?
Being engaged for a year and a half helped me to realize how to act–and more importantly, how not to act–in a relationship. It was a hard lesson to learn, but I’m glad I did. I wish, however, that more people would be willing to take me at my word, rather than having to “learn the hard way,” as I did. Through that hurt, I realized how I knew I was truly in love.
You know you are really in love when you are willing to give the One thing you love the most, more than anything else in the entire world, up for that person. Secondly, you know you are in love when you are willing to let that person go, in hopes they find someone who can treat them better than you. As far as the latter was concerned, I didn’t leave her, but I let her go and asked God to send her someone who could have been better for her. (Granted, I didn’t think it would have been possible, but that’s not the point) And as far as the former is concerned, if you ever have to give up that One thing, then you know, without a doubt, that your significant other does not love you.
To the individual in question, and the rest of you as well, I can’t say more than I already have. I don’t force my opinion on people; it’s up to you to ask me.
Don’t learn the hard way. It’s not pleasent.

Trust me.

Alabama was incredible. It couldn’t have come at a better time either. A few days on the beach with no obligations was just what I needed. Unfortunately, it couldn’t last forever.

The reality of all the things I’ve got to do in the next few weeks is crashing down around me. The one bright spot is my birthday…

…so I’m in the middle of a post and I completely lost my train of thought. And it’s all Darci’s fault. She just introduced me to a song I’ve never heard before, that just happens to be “the most freaking amazing song ever” in her words. When someone makes a statement that bold, I’ve gotta check it out. So after downloading the song, queuing it up in Winamp and listening for 1 minute, I hit the repeat button and now I’m on my third pass. At this point I really can’t argue with her statement. Konstantine by Something Corporate is just short of 10 minutes with some of the best lines i’ve ever heard all assembled in one song. I can’t even concentrate to finish this post. Go download this song. Now.

Yesterday I did nothing. Absolutely nothing. And it was everything I thought it could be. I could really get used to this place! If I had a real keyboard here I would post more, but since this point-n-click method takes forever I’ll keep it short. I leave you with this: “Hey, shut up, Wonka!”

Ever wonder who you have become?

Someone once said, “Look into the mirror…and see yourself.” Lately…I’ve seen my brother.

So! We’re in Alabama, on the 14th floor, and I brought everything for my computer except the freaking keyboard! Im using the annoying windows one. As such, this will be short. Here is a few pictures we have taken so far in WinRar form. Then feel free to hate us for the fun we are having!

Ok, so my birthday isn’t for another few weeks. However, a few minutes ago, I got online and looked for concert information for Yellowcard. I heard a while back that they might be in KC sometime soon, and sure enough they are coming with Something Corporate on my birthday. It may be my 21st birthday, but I can wait a day or two to go out for the first time. I’m not one to pass up concerts like this. J and I will be going at the very least, and anyone who wants to come with us can go check out ticketmaster.com and get tickets. I probably have way too much stuff to even be considering going, but it is my birthday.

The bad…lunch sucked today. Two of my least favorite people were there and as obnoxious as usual. To top it off, I heard some rather disturbing news (to me at least). I’m not going to go into it right now, because I’ve got better things to think about, which leads to my next subject.

The good…ALABAMA! I never thought thinking about Alabama would make me happy, but we’ve actually got a lot to look forward to and that very much overshadows my crappy lunch. For anyone who hasn’t heard by now, J, D, and me are headed down to one of J’s Aunt’s apartment on the beach in Gulf Shores for the next 5 days over spring break. The plan: There is no plan. And that’s the way we like it. Lounging around in a kickass apartment for 5 days with no obligations or annoying people to worry about. Here’s a little linky to provoke some jealousy. Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Hopefully we’ll be posting pics from the trip soon. Next stop, Alabama! Well…J’s house. Then Alabama.

So what, exactly, is a blog… Just some venue for random people you wouldn’t give the time of day to, to rant about their feelings; for them to open their hearts and minds and pour out their proverbial (abstract, I know) souls to anyone that is desperate enough to listen? Are we really so fraught with tension and hopelessness that we have to resort to talking to nothing, where our ideas nothing short of evanesce?

Thankfully, I’m not a Philosopher, so I don’t have to care! As you enter Our Realm and delve into our subconscious, remember two things:

1) No matter where you go, there you are.
2) If you haven’t gotten where you’re going, you aren’t there yet.